i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize