you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
