dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
