so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
