Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
