id be glad to
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize