Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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