Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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