you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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