peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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