Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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