So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
its liver damage thursday
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