I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
