I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
