At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
