imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
