WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
