today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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