What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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