So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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