I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
