I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
