It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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