It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
