she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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