Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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