You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
