you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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