It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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