In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
