Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
