That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
