literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
