Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize