school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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