your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
