I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
