Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
