needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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