Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
