Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I looked at my own cervix.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
