so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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