Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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