You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
