how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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