im drinking this country out of the recession.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
