So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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