her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
tell me about the eggs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
