He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
