I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
