How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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