the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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