i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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