I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
