Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
