you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I forget how to act sober
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
