To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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