as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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