If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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