You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize