so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
