Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
